Company Want Ads

On our Intranet site there is a page for classifieds that people try to sell everything from homes in Leawood, listing garage sales or KC Chefs (yes, i meant to type chefs) season tix. (random iPod song- Baby Got Back, i can't help but mention it while i'm bobbin' my head at my desk typin' to the beat) I get so much entertainment from reading ridiculous ads, sometimes it's typos of the simplest words to horrible grammar that crack me up. Today, I've decided to share the wealth, all these were listed today-

1. Three kittens,must be rare-triplets - one grey with black tips, two black, ready to go, one or all. lovable,cute, and all that other stuff.
Contact: 816-737-XXXX

OK- What makes kittens rare triplets when they are all different? Also, what exactly does "and all that other stuff" mean? I wouldn't exactly call that a selling point....

2. Need a medium/large dog kennel/crate for a black lab puppy.
Contact: 816-737-XXXX

Who cares what color the puppy is, does that matter for the crate? Sorry, the crate I'm selling is for a yellow lab only.

3. College Students! For sale two futons, one brown/wood frame, and one black/metal frame only $50 each. Elegant/traditional mutted floral with broad stripe sofa, loveseat, chair all for only $150. Can e-mail pictures.
Contact: 816-272-XXXX

What is mutted floral? It sounds kinda gross... I think you meant "muted".

4. WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE!!! Bought it and decided to buy a different dress, MUST SELL IMMEDIATELY!! Satin A-Line with beaded empire bodice and hem. Color: Ivory, Size 4, Regular Price: $500, Asking price: $350 obo. Email pictures upon request.
Contact: 816-224-XXXX

What the F? You changed your mind on a dress after you bought it... I'm really worried about your future husband!